Psalm 46:10: “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”
How easy it is to stand still and have patience when the circumstances have put you in the corner or at the edge of the rock—and the abyss beneath you is looking closer than ever.
It always feels that when people tell us to be patient, they are in a good position and don’t understand what it is to be going through what I am going through. So today I will tell you a story about a tough waiting place that I was in, and how hard it was for me to wait on God’s promise—as it was not only about me, but two more people who were dependent on me.
As a single parent and only parent, a lot of things are difficult, as you need to fill the shoes of two parents—financially, emotionally, logistically. But the biggest and scariest thing for a single parent is when the ability to provide for your kids has been taken away, and you have no choice but to look for ways to provide and keep praying and crying to God to grant that desired job, that lifeline, that provision that you so desperately need to keep the roof over your kids and the food on the table. How is one expected to be patient in such a time and to keep the faith and trust that God will come through?
I was completely defeated.
And let me tell you—it was true for me that God never left us hungry. Our bills were somehow always paid. But without the security of a permanent job, things were always hanging in the balance. I cried and I prayed, and I cried, and I prayed, until one day I woke up and I remember being so tired. It was eight months into my job search and nothing promising was on the horizon. So I just sat in my bed and had a very honest and heartfelt conversation with God. I remember telling Him, “Father, I give up. This battle is no longer mine; I surrender. Please take this burden from me and let me serve You—but also get some stable income that will help me provide for my children.” I was completely defeated. I had no other prayers left and no other choice but to surrender.
A week later, I received a message from someone in my network whom I had kept constantly pestering with reminders to send me any job opportunities they came across. There was a position open at The Salvation Army. I kind of laughed, thinking to myself—there is no way.
He had prepared me for this moment.
I sent my CV and waited patiently. This time, it was kind of easier to be patient as it felt like there was a plan. And what do you know—I was called for an interview. And not just any interview, but a six-person panel interview. I felt like I passed with flying colours because it felt like God was already in the room before me. He had prepared me for this moment.
A couple of weeks later, I got my job offer. And a few more weeks later, I started my new position as Finance Officer in The Salvation Army. I couldn’t help but smile all the way from the day I got the faithful message to the day I got the offer and signed the contract—so this is what God had in store for me all along. All He needed was for me to give Him my burden to carry, to submit, and to ask to serve Him instead.
It is never easy to wait, especially when we are faced with circumstances beyond our control and threatening our very survival. But if there is one thing that we can take from my story—let it be to always have faith. Even when we are desperate. Even when we are beaten down and it seems that there is no light at the end of the tunnel. Because as He has shown up for me, He will show up for anyone who believes in Him and His plan and His timing.
Even if we feel scared, we must remember the promise—that as long as we focus on Him, He will look after us. John 15:7: “But if you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted.”